hey guys welcome back to the channel I’m Lexie as you can see Austin is not with me here today I’m going to do something very awkward for myself I’m absolutely terrified I don’t think I’ve ever actually sat down and done a video on our Channel Just Me Myself talking so this should be interesting I am here to give my side of the story of what has happened over the last 3 years I have a lot of things that I have been keeping in that I need to get out so just a quick recap if you don’t know what

happened last year awesome posted a little video of himself explaining why we were taking time off from social media why we were taking a little bit of time away from each other which let me say we only took 10 days apart 10 days okay he went to New York I stayed here we were still texting we were still calling every day like we just needed space to breathe nobody is breaking up get that out of your heads if you see anybody commenting that just tell them no it’s never going to happen we are not breaking up we are still together

completely just don’t no no no no no so when Austin posted that video last year about how we were taking time off he kind of explained that he was struggling mentally with the relationship between him and his dad and I don’t want to dwell on this I don’t want to keep talking about it but people still have so many questions when whenever we post on any place that isn’t YouTube people think that we’re broken up people have no idea what’s going on and it just like we have to keep talking about it to make

sure that people understand when Austin posted that video last year that was kind of supposed supposed to be our our Fresh Start we expected to get a lot of things off of our chest to just be like okay here’s what’s happening here’s what we’re going to do about it and we’re going to come back super strong that was the plan that was the goal little did we know that it would literally blow up in our faces so much that the last year that we’ve been taking time off I think has been the worst year of my life like

I’m not even joking you guys it’s literally been the worst year of my life it it it really is because of the relationship between Austin and his father and it’s so touchy for me to even speak about this at all because I love his family I would I would like they’re going to be my family I would never do anything to to hurt them or say anything bad about them I know this has mostly been about Austin and his dad but a lot of it has affected me in ways that I did not think was ever possible I I really I

really need to get some things out because what has what I’ve seen happen to Austin and what has happened to me pretty much be because of their relationship it’s not normal it’s not healthy the chronic stress like my hair was literally falling out although you guys have only known about this for like a year this has been happening and I’ve watched it get progressively worse since Austin and I started dating before we were even together we were just friends I distinctly remember one day Austin

coming up to my room and just crying like balling his eyes out sorry and if you’re seeing this I’m outing you but he he came to me and he literally just cried about how how much like he missed his mom and how much he wanted his dad to like be there for him and how he didn’t feel supported he didn’t feel loved and like I literally was just listening to like the sweetest man ever and I should have known from there how bad it was going to be but I I didn’t think it could get worse and and it got

15,000 times worse so many of the details like so many of like the tea that I want to actually tell you I can’t tell you because like I don’t want to get sued I don’t want to get in trouble with Austin’s family I don’t even I I I so before I get into a lot of like the present details let me take you back 3 years ago we started posting in 2020 Austin’s mother had passed away in 2018 I can’t really speak on Austin and his dad’s relationship before I came into the picture but even in 2020 I noticed

something wasn’t right we blew up online really fast in 2020 I was giving 150% effort every single day trying to get content out absolutely everywhere Austin was really mentally caught up in the relationship with his dad that he couldn’t bring himself to work every day at this point I think it was a lot of just like verbal abuse from his father I just watched those words that verbal abuse I watched it destroy Austin like I watched it kill his self-esteem imagine just hearing the worst things that you

think about yourself from your parent his father unfortunately never really understood mental illness I don’t think that he could recognize Austin’s anxiety I don’t think he could recognize his depression I don’t think that he saw Austin struggling and I wanted him to be okay so for 2 years I did everything and I’m it really sucks because obviously a contributed so much to the channel he is the channel he is the reason why like we are so loved but he couldn’t be there to edit two YouTube videos a week he

couldn’t be there to edit five Tik toks a week he didn’t understand how to how to make a proper Instagram po like it wasn’t his fault that he didn’t understand [ __ ] this and I loved him so much and I just I did I did everything every piece of content that you saw probably for the last 2 years I put out and I know it doesn’t seem like a lot of work but it was I lost connection with my friends I lost connection with my parents I wasn’t going out and doing things that I liked anymore I was

sitting in front of my computer for eight hours a day just staring at the screen trying to trying to make sure that we would be okay and that he wouldn’t have to worry about it and I’m not this is not me outing him I have spoken to Austin about this this is not me outing him because it wasn’t his fault and it completely burnt me out I have no idea how to look in a camera and speak anymore like I want you to know this is probably like the fifth time I’ve shot this posting so much for so long and like playing that

that character although it was us on screen like you’re seeing us it still feels like it’s not real in a way and it just it completely warped my entire perspective on myself I lost all my confidence I can’t even look at myself anymore like I feel like I’ve become an introvert and we got into this cycle of neither of us could help one another like I couldn’t help myself Austin couldn’t help himself I couldn’t help him he couldn’t help me and we realized okay we need to breathe and that’s why

we took time off what sucked the most was that I inserted myself I inserted myself as the middleman at the time I thought it was a good idea because when Austin and I started dating I thought of myself as very levelheaded I like to use logic and reasoning I like to be super mature if you have an issue with me like let’s sit down tell me what is wrong and let me know what I can do to make it better like that has always been my thing and I thought that I could use that to my advantage I want to say like 20 2020 2021 whenever we were in

instances with Austin and his father and there would be an issue like I could literally step in the middle and say no like both of you stop it and there were times that I would look at Austin’s dad and be like hey quit it and he’d be like okay and I would look at Austin be like hey quit it and he would be like okay so for a while it worked and Austin’s dad and I would have conversations I have sat with him multiple times oneon-one and said let me help you let me know how I can talk to him for you like let me

help and little did I know that that would make me the villain one day last it was actually last year I think it was during Coachella Austin’s dad had texted me and that is when the shift in my relationship with his dad changed because he started speaking to me the same way that he speaks to Austin and you can actually watch last week’s YouTube video that message from his dad that he read aloud was one of the messages from Coachella like that morning at Coachella after Coachella week that’s when he started verbally

abusing me he started verbally abusing my family he had listed a bunch of things that he didn’t like about me and then at the end of the email said what a woman that’s my personal favorite so it was like after after so many years of trying to like help both of you help your son I’m really going to be a terrible person he used used the word manipulative he used the word abusive toward me that I was being those toward Austin and I [Music] have I’m getting ril he made me feel like I wasn’t good enough to be with

Austin he had said things about myself that made me question who I even was I’ve never even heard some of the things that he said about me before I’ve never been called those things I’ve been called a lot of things but I have never been called some of the things that he said I think one of the things that I can’t seem to get over and it’s like I don’t really hold grudges but for some reason I I I simply cannot move past this when we first moved here to Massachusetts we came from New York

his father used to be in a relationship that did not work out but they also used to be in New York when his dad and the girlfriend had separated there was complications with Austin’s family dog lucky who had no place to go because his dad was moving out they were separating there was just a lot of stuff going on so what we did was we took the dog with us temporarily until Austin’s dad was ready to take him back and what happened was he never took the dog back he stayed with my family has been there for 2 years now Austin’s dad never

reaches out does not reach out does not call to see how he’s doing it is as if that dog never existed I have tried to call Austin’s dad and say hey I’m not the enemy here let me help you he has screamed at me locked me he literally hung up on me I wish I could tell you everything I wish I could tell you what he has said to Austin in those emails terrible terrible things wishing harm on him wishing harm on me and honestly I’m afraid of him now I feel like I’m getting a little bit of closure by

talking about it but it’s not going to stop it hasn’t stopped and I’ve never seen Behavior like this from an adult ever there’s nothing for us to do anymore like we’ve done everything we’ve tried to do everything he will not stop and it’s even worse because if I say one thing wrong Austin’s entire family could hate me but at the same time nobody asks about how it’s affected me and I know that sounds selfish it is in a way it really is but it makes feel so defeated because like I

see everybody online talking constantly about how Austin has given how he SS for me so much and how he does everything for me and the amount of people that say what do you do for him you don’t do anything I literally feel like I have given him all that I can not to be that person right now but this is the only job I’ve ever wanted will not this job but I’ve always wanted to make movies and I cannot believe I got this close and why why I’m trying so hard is because I really don’t want to give that

up and don’t look at that as I care about the job more than I care about Austin like no to have that career and to do it with the love of my life is literally all I’ve ever wanted and I will be damned if somebody takes that away from me when you guys keep asking us like why aren’t you getting married why aren’t you proposing this is why it’s not that we’re not ever going to get married it’s not the right time right now I think that if this situation with his dad didn’t happen we would have

been either engaged Andor married by now we have so many things that we need to clean up right now because of him and we got to try to balance that and coming back to social media I I’ll be honest with you guys it’s been so hard to come back to social media I I cannot even look at myself in the viewfinder and it hurts because you guys come to us to like have fun and laugh and smile and we want nothing more than to give that to you but you know how much it sucks trying to give that and having that like

fake smile on your face that fake laugh and it’s just like all we wanted to do was die like for the longest time I feel like I’ve been behind the camera but for once I feel like I actually want to try to get in front of the camera I want people to know who I actually am instead of just the Sim King’s girlfriend who he SS for all the time and who does nothing in the relationship I know people care about me but I don’t I don’t feel like they do which is what makes it so hard Austin and his dad went no contact and it’s

been that way for the last couple months we’re still cleaning up the mess for the first time in a long time I actually see the light at the end of the tunnel but over the next couple months I’m really hoping that you guys see growth I’m really hoping that you guys see change you guys see the old us because we want to be the old us if we’re a little late if if you see people confused in the comments if you want to help us just tell them what’s going on you don’t need to like make a whole summary or like you know

break your thumbs typing up everything but I just want people to know that we’re coming back we’re not breaking up we’re okay I know we can do it I know that I’m not what Austin’s dad says I am I know that I’m a good girlfriend I know that I show up for Austin and I know that Austin can show up for me he is the s King he’s always been the s King he is still the person that will run out of the house if I need anything at any given time he is still the person who will wake up at 6:00 a.m. and go get me

a coffee and if the coffee comes back the way that I don’t a way that I don’t like he will go all the way back and get me another one he is still that guy I just needed you guys to know a little bit of what happened from my perspective I give you a little bit more of the tea which I really wasn’t supposed to give you but I just I deserve to be able to say something we love you guys I love you you guys please bear with me follow me on Instagram hopefully this has answered any last remaining questions

obviously we’re not trying to go into too much detail but like we really want you guys to know why we are acting the way that we’re acting say bye scoobydoo that’s a wrap that’s a wrap.

Cr.https://youtu.be/czH8ED_sqRE